I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's official drugs can't kill me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
