at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
BRING THE BAGELS
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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