In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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