So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize