Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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