Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
