I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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