You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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