my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize