Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
