I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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