I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
