how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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