my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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