I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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