apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She needs sedatives and a leash
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
