dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
