That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
