I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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