if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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