It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i permit you to call me
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
