Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
