Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
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It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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