I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
