By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
