the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
