Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
