she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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