don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
