I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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