It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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