He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
