After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
