Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
