Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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