so explain again why im purple
no
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
