Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
