Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
