I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
