I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
