Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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