shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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