I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
