i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
