Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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