I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
