I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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