guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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