Please, let me fuck your mom
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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