Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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