Church boner. Awkwardddd
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
