we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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