the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
