so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
