Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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