sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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