I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
