I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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