He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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