Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
