I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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