We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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