Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
