I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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