Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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