I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
