dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
