That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
