One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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